I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
