My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
