Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
