woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sobbing to NWA
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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