he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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