i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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