yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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