hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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