I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
