is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
