its not stalking. its research.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
