How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
