just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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