Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed