I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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