haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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