Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner