The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
