Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
