I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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