sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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