Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
