I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize