I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So much Jack, so little girl.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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