those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
