If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize