She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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