Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
4 words: hood of his car
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
