shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
