peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
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