He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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