Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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