I wish i was in the wii world.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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