You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
