You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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