you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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