And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
