that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
