If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
