Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
