How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
