Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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