I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize