Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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