so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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