mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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