today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
