"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
