She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
