I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
