ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
