What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
