I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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