dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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