Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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