hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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