lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
