Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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