Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
