And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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