Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
