More tranny stories later!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
