I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Randomize
