So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
